The fact that my life seems to be on shaky ground is obviously not a temporary condition in my own situation. It is apparent that these uneasy feelings about my life are a symptom of a mid-life re-evaluation, common in most males.
It is necessary and right to become aware of those aspects of ourselves that no longer suit us. As much as they seemed right in the past, their existence in the present is inappropriate and if they represent a wall that threatens to prevent future growth, they must be given up.
To mourn their passing is natural. To fear change is also natural.
The consequences of moving on are unpredictable but not to be feared. We must trust the products of our deepest convictions. If our thoughts are consistent in their source, the nature that will derive from them will also be consistent with that idea.
We should only fear compromise and the inherent inconsistencies it will allow.
As usual, the impediment to change is the pain it can cause for others as the foundation of their plans shakes in sympathy with my own.
This is a formidable impediment, too. Can I carry out the needed alterations alone?
At the same time, it would be prudent to recall that others change too!
If I were to give up some opportunity to grow because of a fear that it might hurt someone else, could that come back on me?
At this time, it is hard to believe that over twenty years ago, I actually wrote "We must trust the products of our deepest convictions", with such conviction, unless I also believe that my deepest conviction of that time was very strongly linked with maintaining our family, no matter what the cost.