Out of Place

K and I have observed that for every situation there is a song. This week marks the passing of my old blog. Its time had passed. I have changed. Its audience has changed, too. As the song below suggests, nothing's gone forever, only out of place.

It seems to me that when accepting change, it helps to belong to a Nordic people. We live, after all, in a place where there are seasons. Oh, I'm sure everywhere there are changes that repeat yearly, such as heavy rainfall and the like. In this part of Canada, at this time of year, anticipation builds as spring gets closer. It is a wonderful time that marks the beginning of new life after many months of hibernation for the plants, animals, and many humans, too.

In April, birds return from places where food is available year-round. Insects begin to buzz about looking for those first bits of nourishment where so recently there was only snow.

I grew up in a largish city (not compared with Cairo or Wuhan) - Toronto - where snow that accumulated soon became a black mess. Spring meant seeing the water part drain away so that shovels and brooms could remove the stuff that made it black. That was definitely a welcome part of spring.

Cycles seem natural. When something ends unexpectedly, however, there is a feeling that somehow a contract has been broken. In reality, even in a cyclical process, change gradually takes place. Eventually the conditions needed for some part of the cycle disappear. That part ends. So it is here. Some birds and insects we grew up noticing will not return because it is subtly warmer each year. The change in climate means the plant they eat doesn't grow as well or at all. They haven't died off. That plant now grows better somewhere else because it also warmed up. So if you want to see that bird or the insect they eat, visit there. Others replace those who have left. That is the way of things. 

As for me, I haven't really left. I'm right here. 

The Place Where Lost Things Go

Do you ever lie awake at night
Just between the dark and the morning light
Searching for the things you used to know
Looking for the place where the lost things go

Do you ever dream or reminisce
Wondering where to find what you truly miss
Maybe all those things that you love so
Are waiting in the place where the lost things go

Memories you've shared
Gone for good you feared
They're all around you still though they've disappeared
Nothing's really left or lost without a trace
Nothing's gone forever only out of place

So maybe now the dish and my best spoon
Are playing hide and seek just behind the moon
Waiting there until it's time to show
Spring is like that now
Far beneath the snow
Hiding in the place where the lost things go

Time to close your eyes so sleep can come around
For when you dream you'll find all that's lost is found
Maybe on the moon
Or maybe somewhere new
Maybe all you're missing lives inside of you

So when you need her touch and loving gaze
Gone but not forgotten is the perfect phrase
Smiling from a star that she makes glow
Trust she's always there
Watching as you grow
Find her in the place
Where the lost things go

Copyright 2018 Disney Enterprises, Inc. 

Too Late Smart?

The English language seems to have enough words; over one hundred and seventy thousand at last count, yet there is a feeling I have these days with no word to describe it accurately. One word comes close - peace. Yet that word has too many other connotations. This sort of peace isn't the one that contrasts with war, for instance. It is better thought of as a calmness, a feeling of assuredness; no matter what goes on or how bad it seems, all will be well. Maybe serenity comes closer. Is there some word that is a combination of peace and serenity?

In order to experience this feeling, I have a 'feeling' that one has to live long enough and have done enough things that one has regretted. After all of that, one needs to have accepted all of those follies, too. It might help to have done enough things that fall under the category of necessary but not generally acceptable. 

In the Bible we read about a peace that passes all understanding. Keep in mind that I am not a religious person. In fact, I actively eschew religion in favour of a spiritual experience of eternity. Even so, it seems that this peace I feel is comparable to that referred to in Philippians 4:7, giving me a calmness of spirit, even though I feel no specialness because of it. 

There is still so much to learn; this isn't about being done or perfect in any way. This post is here because it seems to me that if I can manage it, this sort of peace must be accessible to anyone. What exactly one needs to do, other than live long enough, I cannot say. There is no recipe or religious experience that can do the job. 

A very good school friend's father had a plaque in the living room with a saying that always amused me. Now that I am older than his father was then, it is starting to make more sense. 

Ve git too soon ohlt und too late Schmart

Even Lucy knows how important serenity is ...

Just a Walk

The temperature was perfect, with a slight breeze; the sky, clear with just a few fluffy clouds down on the horizon; a bright cheery morning for a walk to the grocery store. 

My wireless earbuds were beckoning. I have at least ten podcasts on my phone that have been waiting patiently to be heard. Yet something said, just walk, listen, and see. 

There is always something interesting if you look about. I wanted to say something to the teenaged boy who passed with his head down - he looked as though he had lost his only friend. I didn't of course, even though my imagination built a scenario that started with "Hello there ... you look like you need an ear to listen. Maybe someone who won't judge you, like me, would help? ... and ended with, ... thank you so much for saying hello this morning. I feel so much better!" 

Of course, I live in a city, not a small town, so speaking to a stranger could just as easily end badly. A sad comment on modern life. 

The antics of the dogs playing in the dog park as I approached gave me a chuckle, then I almost laughed out loud as they came over to the fence, not to bark at me, but to greet a friend they were clearly expecting as she was getting out of her master's car.  Hi!! Hi!!!! good to see you ... Hi!!! come and run and play with us!! 

Heading down the hill, I paused to have a short conversation with a very busy member of the community; Ms. Rabbit. 

I see you left your dogs at home ... very good 

... mmm this one is very tasty ... 

wait a second!! I smell dog ...

She waited until a dog walking his mistress got just about in striking distance and then zipped into the undergrowth, without even saying nice talking with you. 

Those podcasts can definitely wait for another time and not while I am enjoying a walk. So many other things to do. 

Wherever I Find It

"There is no problem so big that it cannot be run away from."... 
"You're quoting Snoopy the dog, I believe?" 
"I'll quote the truth wherever I find it thank you."

- Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

“It says in the brochure," said Arthur, pulling it out of his pocket and looking at it again, "that I can have a special prayer, individually tailored to me and my special needs." 
- "Oh, all right," said the old man. "Here's a prayer for you. Got a pencil?"
- "Yes," said Arthur. 
- "It goes like this. Let's see now: "Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen." That's it. It's what you pray silently inside yourself anyway, so you may as well have it out in the open." 
- "Hmmm," said Arthur. "Well, thank you"
- "There's another prayer that goes with it that's very important," continued the old man, "so you'd better jot this down, too, just in case. You can never be too sure. "Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. Amen." And that's it. Most of the trouble people get into in life comes from missing out that last part.”

― Douglas Adams

The Ends of the Earth

I often wonder why it is that we, as a species, spend so much energy thinking about things that only matter when we imagine ourselves to be in some sort of extreme situation, even though we spend most of our time nowhere near the ends of the earth.

On his television program The Day The Universe Changed, James Burke repeated a story. It seems that someone once observed to the philosopher Wittgenstein how stupid medieval Europeans living before the time of Copernicus must have been that they could have looked up at the sky and thought that the sun was going around the earth. Wittgenstein was said to have replied yes, but I wonder what it would have looked like if the sun had been going around the earth? The answer is, of course, that it would have looked identical. It is only because we are told what is "actually going on" that makes us think as we do.

There are some folks who still believe the earth is flat. For the most part, observation would agree with them. I've been in a plane at 30,000 feet and it only seems to be slightly curved, but I suspect I noticed that because I believe we live on a huge globe. It must be discouraging for that group that nobody has ever taken snaps while standing at the ends of the earth, which I think they believe to be along the Antarctic ridge that circles the earth with a circumference of ... oh well, never mind that. And let's not even get started on the great space program hoax that has been foisted on us all. The National Enquirer is missing a trick there for sure.

Darwin's observations on the origin of species caused an uproar because they eventually changed the way most of us think about natural history. I do have to wonder, though, for the average person, why it matters whether species have evolved or species were created in an instant by some supernatural power.

The belief that the earth is a globe doesn't make us do anything differently, apart from airline pilots who plot great circle routes believing it will save fuel. The sun still "rises" and "sets" for everyone apart from those who live in the far north or south, and that circling about phenomenon can be explained - somehow - I guess.

More particularly, I often wonder why I spend so much energy wondering about those sort of things, when, quite obviously, so many of my fellow travellers on this orb seem to be absorbed by more immediate and important things; things such as what some movie star is wearing, or who they are courting, or what team is winning on some "reality" game show, or how a favourite sports team is doing.

At the moment, two young men who are the subject of a manhunt in northern Manitoba desperately need an epiphany to help them live a bit longer. If we believe the news, just for kicks, they murdered three people along highways in British Columbia, then fled in a stolen SUV across the prairies toward the east. I'm not really sure what to do with that information.

I believe all of this stuff (about how planets move because of the curvature of space-time for instance), and yet for all the wonderful-yet-not-very-applicable beliefs I have, none of it does me a bit of good when trying to help my children and the rest of humanity cope with this crazy world.

I do have some spiritual beliefs that protect me, in the very long term, from falling into despair, but they are ends of the earth beliefs, not here-and-now-I-can-help-everyone-get-through-this-trauma beliefs.

Just in case you need to escape from reality (some fuzzy bunny distraction as Coline and I call it) here is a link to a topic that is so unimportant to the daily lives of people on the planet as to be laughable. I will admit to being fascinated by it all. It makes me happy to visualize the planets circling about - the earth rotating once a day with its moon slowly circling. It helps me to think there are things I might actually understand. I definitely cannot fathom a world where those two young people managed to come to this end; hiding from death at the hands of so many soldiers and police, somewhere near the ends of the earth.

Shame on Us

We are an amazingly diverse species. Our diversity and adaptability has allowed us to survive and then thrive, spreading over this planet of extremes. Interestingly, the fact that humans have moved to those less comfortable parts of the planet might come from our tendency, as a group, to drive away those who are most diverse; those who are not 'like us'. The most diverse, and therefore, the less desirable folk became pioneers.

Ironically, one of the last great migrations, the one from Europe to North America, fuelled, at least partially, by religious persecution, seems to have given rise to one of the less tolerant populations of the world. 

Historically, those who are different, even if their differences cannot possibly harm others, were liable to be treated badly. That word is taking the place for a variety of ways we treat those seen as other.

A good example of treating someone badly is enslavement. After all, why not take advantage of being in the group with more power, to get others to do all of the work you would rather not do? Better still, make them do it for free, and while you are at it, give yourself a real treat and do unspeakable and harmful things to that slave under the pretext of superiority. Holdover behaviours in the present from times of slavery in Canada and the United States are subtle and pervasive, but I digress. Hold that thought ...

Badly might mean assuring those whose diversity makes them part of the LGBTQ spectrum live in shame, and if possible, making laws to control them, just in case they don't care what you think. 

Religions have used the laying on of guilt to assure what they see as proper behaviour. Of course, threating hell and other sorts of fire was their technique of choice up until the 17th century. Religions were in the vanguard in the area of law-making, telling the "faithful" that if they gave comfort to those diverse folk, they would be treated to the same sort of punishments. These days, churches that specialize in shaming members into toeing the line are by far the most popular and rich, while liberal churches have found their congregations dwindling. 

It seems to me that rather than being angered by seeing someone who is of a different from them in some way that truly shouldn't matter at all, people should get angry at others who do really stupid things, such as throwing their rubbish onto the street rather than putting it into a garbage container. Maybe that person who leaves their shopping cart in the middle of a parking spot or in the roadway instead of putting it where they found it should be shamed for treating the rest of us as though we don't matter.  

Perhaps we should shame those who carelessly reflect the failings of our past, bigotry large among them, in their behaviour today. Personally, I wish it was possible to lay a bit of 'shame on you' on people who try to control how others live their lives. Shame on anyone who advocates cuts to public education and medical coverage while at the same time telling us they are "pro-life". 

Better still, get upset and shame someone who writes silly blog posts, railing against human behaviours that may be so entrenched into our cultures that we cannot hope to leave them behind. 

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  ~  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

And for something to lighten the mood, a cartoon by Paul Kinsella

History of Religion

Moving On or Moving Forward?

Major life events are hopefully joyous, sometimes earth-shatteringly devastating, and mostly in between those emotional extremes. Transition was, for me, a combination of things in that middle range. 

Lost family, and people who I thought of as friends closer than family, who are gone because I finally acted on impulses that had driven me (mostly crazy) all my life, are always with me. I cannot forget the pain of loss even if, from their point of view, it was all my fault. These people are with me just as my grandparents, who raised me and died decades ago, are with me daily. 

My spouse of forty years who couldn't stay in love with me as a woman isn't someone I hate. Memories of our times together, places we went, and people we only knew together are always going to be part of me. The love we had is part of me.  

There is so much for me to be happy about now; including a spouse who I know inside out, and who knows me the same way and loves all of me ... wow! 

Because I have continued to live and grow since the time when loss occurred, I do not feel at all guilty for the joy I feel now. Why should I? After all, that joy has to do with all the experiences, sorrows, and happiness I had before.

So, when they see that I'm happy, some might say, "you have moved on". I've never felt that way though. Moving on seems to imply forgetting. My experience is more like moving ahead. 

Nora McInerny knows about loss at a scale none of us want to experience, and she knows about moving forward with it, and expresses these feelings and thoughts eloquently in this TED talk.