Saturday, March 5, 2016

A Deeper Self

This longer document was not included in the little red binder with the others presented here, but was written at the same time. It is dated in another's hand, which means it was read by a friend of the time who added that date; Monday, January 18, 1988.

A disclaimer: I wrote this at that time for myself, and possibly for that close friend. Please, believe what you wish, and blame or take credit yourself for your choices.

All I know is it has worked for me.

We all operate on two levels, at the very least. On the surface, we measure days, weeks, years, and are concerned by events of the past and possibilities for the future. This same level also deals with the present. It consciously registers our feelings, sifts through current input, and attempts to judge their relative merit vis-a-vis past and future. This is the side of ourselves that interacts in society and controls us when we are awake. 

The other side is somewhat mysterious and may in fact have more than one part to it. 

My hypothesis is as follows:

This deeper nature is not bound by time or location. All the entities of the world can communicate using the powers of this deeper self. The reason we do not perceive this is caused by the limited beliefs of the surface self in its control of the conscious mind. 

In dreams, the deeper self attempts to communicate with the surface. When we have deep, unexplained feelings, it is as a result of the interplay between the two. Sudden inspiration, which the conscious mind takes as its own, results from the same interaction. 

At another stage in our existence, the human race would have less conscious problems with the existence of this inner self. In that case, there would be less inhibition against acting on the impulses that we say are evil or good. 

Acting in a certain way, once it receives a label, has to be reconsidered as appropriate or not. Once this judgemental behaviour arrives, the death knell for infra-communication ends.* [sic] 

For an example, let us say that two people, who do not consciously know each other are in need of one another, for any purpose (it could be work related, sexual compatibility, ...). The inner minds find their mate in that need or even a set of needs and draws them together physically through "coincidence". This would be seem to be too good to be true. If it really happened that way, why is it that all of humanity is not ecstatically happy? 

                     There's the rub. 

Because the conscious mind sifts and judges everything through a filter of logic, it says "this is impossible. I must be deceived, because there is no way that this person could be so right for me! I've been hurt before when I rushed into something. There's no way I will let that happen again."

We are all free to choose. The secret of choosing well is to attempt to attune yourself to your inner half [sic] by listening deeply. The secret is to try not to be too critical of what seems like a failure in the past. It was probably a failure because your conscious mind tried to tie it down like trying to lasso a cloud. 

Open the lines of communication. Reach out to your inner self and live and learn more. 

Or, you can choose the alternative. If you choose this, however, stop moaning about how "nothing good ever comes to you" or "how awful God is" or any of those other cries for help that frustrate your inner self and its attempts to hibernate successfully in that cold, forbidding world you have chosen to create. 

*the stream of thought here is quite unclear. I suspect what was meant was "the death knell is sounded" but who knows at this point?


  1. Oh Halle, this is beautiful! It is an invitation to embrace reality, whatever that is, but something we "know" when we meet it. I am reminded of this morning's meditation (by Father Richard Rohr, taken from the Missal) from John 5:7,9. In effect Jesus says, "Get off your backside and enter the living waters of life. Stop whingeing and blaming others." Reading these past posts of yours, coupled with my current meditations is having the effect of draining me utterly, and being refilled with such heart-aching joy.

    1. Re-reading this post and now your comment has me in wonder again, shaking my head.
      Did I really find all these notes, then show them to a friend, who then suggested they should be published somehow, all by coincidence?

      There is a lot for me to smile about these days Tom, and this coincidence of ours is definitely one.